


trails

by thepessimisticasshole



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Breakup Fic, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, get back together fic?, is that even a thing anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 09:20:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5738149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepessimisticasshole/pseuds/thepessimisticasshole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>they really can't live without each other.</p><p>but it gets to be too much, sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	trails

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: all characters belong to rainbow rowell
> 
> ((also i wrote this two months ago and only just found it))

they’ve been fighting.

they keep fighting, through the day and through the night-

simon doesn’t go to work with baz anymore. they don’t sleep together.

baz doesn’t know if they’ll be okay.

because he still loves him, his miracle boy with the deep blue eyes and dragon wings-

but somethings broken between them.

and they’re slipping on the pieces.

—

simon hates him, sometimes- all tall and haughty and proud, grey eyes flashing like they’re on fire.

sometimes simon’s just wants it all to _end_.

he’s so tired.

—

it’s a tuesday when they go their separate ways.

they’re fighting over something dumb and simon’s crying and then he just throws up his hands, red faced and flushed and-

“i’m done.”

and baz nods, because this was going to happen. eventually.

and he leaves.

 

* * *

 

it’s like simon’s empty.

it’s like the sky has collapsed inwards and he’s left, floating in space. alone. numb.

and there’s a sort of ache in his chest, deeper than an actual wound- he thinks about it every night, because that’s all he can think about, and-

it’s like his heart is dying.

it’s like his heart is dead.

—

baz misses simon more than he misses living.

because simon was the thing that made him feel alive, and now he’s gone, and baz has to cope all over again.

—

simon breaks first. even though he’s stubborn.

even though he’s the one who ended things.

baz walks to work, and it’s like the sky is crying- it’s cloudy and dark and damp. just like baz.

and there he is- golden and blue all over again, smelling like brownies and wet earth and everything good in the world.

 _simon_ _snow_.

—

it was jagged.

there were tears and raised voices and whispers, soft as velvet- “ _why did you leave me_ ,” and _“i never stopped loving you_ ”.

and there was love, like a star, flaming so hot that baz was afraid of burning.

but it was their love.

and it wouldn’t hurt him like that again.


End file.
